Author: bigburlesque

sexual relationships

Sexual relations: 5 mistakes not to make to take full advantage of it

Has your sex life stalled? Blame it on those mistakes you make without even realizing it.

When it comes to sex , some blunders can turn into funny stories and experiences that will make you laugh when you remember them (or learn something about them), but others can have a truly negative impact on your relationships, degrading your sex life and making sex no longer enjoyable.

One of the biggest problems are those mistakes that many make without knowing exactly that they are mistakes, which ends up affecting them, their partners and therefore their relationships.

Without going so far as to take courses or internships to become an outstanding lover, there are a few things to know that can ultimately make a big difference. The first thing is that there is no magic recipe, we are all different. In other words, you have to find the right rhythm, and understand that while many things can work, others can affect everyone negatively, and make sex a stressful, scary and frustrating experience.

A study by dating site Victoria Milan found that certain sexual errors are more common among men and are responsible for their partners’ dissatisfaction (and the destruction of their sex life).

The Most Common Sex Mistakes Among Men (And How To Stop Making Them)

Think only of yourself

Unless it’s masturbation, sex isn’t just about you, so don’t just think about what you feel and want. The key to good sex is understanding that the other person also has needs, likes and dislikes. So you have to make sure that your partner also has what he wants, feels good and appreciates what you are doing.

Let the routine set in

Lack of creativity and spontaneity is a mistake that everyone makes, and care should be taken not to fall into a routine. No need to try hundreds of positions or sex toys, but novelty is a good way to make things interesting, like trying games or getting caught up in the moment and surprise, rather than sticking to the same thing all the time. calendar. Of course, the calendar can be a solution for those who are really busy (so that sex doesn’t stop being a priority), but it’s not a rule, just a guideline.

The obsession with orgasm

Having an orgasm isn’t everything, you can have good sex without it, and there are issues that make it harder to orgasm. The obsession with orgasm puts a lot of pressure on the other, which causes stress and anxiety, and therefore sexual performance can suffer. The best thing to do is relax and enjoy the experience, focusing on feeling good, creating connection and intimacy, not just getting an explosive result.

Eliminate foreplay

Foreplay is especially important when you’re going to have sex with a woman, because the body needs a bit of preparation beforehand for a better sexual encounter. Foreplay also increases intimacy and can help strengthen relationships, which always leads to better sex. Think of the pattern Monica makes with her friends in Friends .

Unplug your brain

Experts claim that the brain is the largest and most important sex organ in the body. So you have to stimulate it too, with words, games, creating a good atmosphere and even playing music. You will never reach an orgasm, or have a good experience, if your mind and that of your partner are not stimulated, or if they are not present in the experience.… Read the rest

car sex

Car Sex: On the Road to Trouble

It’s a change of bed, but it’s a crime.

Who doesn’t remember this cult scene from Titanic in which Rose and Jack finally indulge in their all-consuming passion in a 1910 Renault Type CB, their hands leaving marks on the steamy windows? So sexy… The Crash book , adapted by David Cronenberg for the cinema, depicts people who only make love in wrecked cars. And reality joins fiction, because yes, the automobile remains a place of fantasies.

57% of French people have already made love there – in detail, 54% of women and 60% of men. According to an Ipsos survey for eBay dating from September 2016, France comes in third place behind the Italians (with 70%) and the Spaniards (68%). Nothing surprising according to Dr. Marion Alexandre, psychiatrist in Paris: “The car is nothing but an extension of our body. By this very fact, it is loaded with meaning, with fantasies. Psychiatrists go even further: the automobile would be nothing less than a phallic extension. The mechanics of the car reinforces this symbolism because it is even a symbol of power, speed, strength. And as the car has a price, it is also an instrument of social positioning.

Neither nus, nor connus

Yes, but be careful not to get caught in car sex… by the police. Recall that according to article 222-32 of the penal code , “sexual exhibition imposed on the sight of others in a place accessible to the public gaze is punishable by one year’s imprisonment and 15,000 euros in fine”. To avoid ending up broke or behind bars, why not plan an outfit that’s as easy to take off as it is to put back on, as was the case for Victoria and Gabriel, who tell us that they were able to get dressed in record time when it happened. turned out to be necessary.

On September 15, 2018, on the highway linking Valladolid and Madrid in Spain, a couple was filmed in full action at 130km/h.

“The moment we finished, in the back seat, two voices shouted, ‘Document check!'” Victoria recalls. “My heart raced, Gabriel rolled down the window, two cops were there, still with their torches blinding us. They stared at us for long seconds. Caught almost in flagrante delicto, we dared not move. We replied that we were talking. As we were dressed, they had no proof. At the time, we thought they were going to take us on board and fine us. But, to our great relief, they eventually left. They simply ordered us to do the same.” Neither naked nor known.


Another concern, parking , which remains prohibited on a delivery place or on a pedestrian crossing, whether the desire is too urgent or not. And ” poorly parked” means a fine of 35 to 135 euros . Not to mention the fact that you have to choose the place carefully, so avoid the village square, as an Italian couple did in Bella, in the north of the country. Francesco and Erika were caught “completely naked, on top of each other” , as the Carabinieri report reads, which earned them a prison sentence . We don’t mess with modesty.

There remains Guadalajara in Mexico, where sex in public places is allowed.

In France, the communication department of the national police explains its method: “If it is near a school or even in a wood, to prevent it from becoming a dangerous place, we obviously have to verbalize.” On the other hand, the police say they are “also showing discernment” . In other words, we do not condemn the … Read the rest

Heat and libido

Heat and libido, a too hot cocktail

It’s not always easy to have fun in temperatures over 40 degrees… But it would still be a shame to do without it.

Yes, summer is good for sex. That’s a fact. We are generally on vacation, more relaxed, more available, less caught up in the frenzy of everyday life. The bodies are exposed, simply dressed in a little short dress or a tight t-shirt. The figures bear this out: according to an IFOP survey from 2017 , 73% of men and 63% of women say they want to make love more during the summer, but only 58% of men and 54% of women actually do more at this time.

It must be said that the hormones are boiling. Light increases the secretion of serotonin, the hormone of happiness and motivation . Dr. Albert Barbaro , sexologist, confirms : “It gives us more joy, more cheerfulness, so we are more inclined to meet people and to be interested in our sexuality.”

Nine months after each heat wave, there are 5 to 6% fewer births.

In addition, cortisol decreases and drives out stress, which is not our libido’s best ally. Not to mention the vitamin D secreted by the skin in contact with the sun, which boosts testosterone in men, the sex hormone par excellence. So far, nothing new under the sun.

The heat wave inhibits our libido

The heat is okay, but the heat wave is something else. There is no more serotonin and relaxation that hold. A report by the National Institute for Demographic Studies (INED) revealed that nine months after each heat wave, there were 5 to 6% fewer births. The effects of high heat are deleterious for the parts of the legs in the air. At the top of the discomforts felt comes first excessive sweating for 63% of people questioned by Opinon Way for CLIMSOM ; then sleep disorders (60%) and the feeling of fatigue (59%). In this context, there is not much room for a little sex marathon.

However, we will have to find a way to accommodate ourselves to these climate changes, especially as the situation is going to get worse. “With climate change, these events happen earlier and last until later in the year, they are also more intense than what they may have been in the past ,” explains Aglaé Jezequel, climatologist . “Today is the exception, but the climate is changing and we can already expect the heat waves to come earlier.”

We’re still not going to stop the sex! Especially since many researchers have shown that making love is good for your health , whether at the level of stress, for strengthening the heart and even to protect against certain cancers. Oxytocin, the breastfeeding and orgasm hormone, would protect women from breast cancer. On the men’s side, frequent ejaculations reduce the risk of prostate cancer. It also improves blood circulation, and regular sexual activity increases neural connections.

In the event of strong heat, the French are 37% to plebiscite the doggy style

Small bonus: according to the British psychologist David Weeks, sex could make us gain seven years of age … in appearance. A real makeover. It is therefore impossible to do without it: it is a medical prescription.

The only beneficial effect of the heat wave found to date: the “summer penis” effect , in other words the fact that the penis grows considerably because the blood vessels, under the effect of the heat, dilate. Do you still have to want or be able to use it? For this, there are solutions to continue loving ourselves “under the … Read the rest

sex questions

10 questions to ask yourself about your sex life

We don’t always take the time to take care of our privacy and our sexual habits are no exception to this rule.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine if your sex life is going well! Are you satisfied right now? Could you improve your erotic routine? It’s always a good time to do some soul-searching.

1. What place does sexuality take in your life as a couple?

Many end up forgetting the importance of healthy sexuality in their relationship dynamics . And that does not mean that sexuality must be ultra active, no,the sexuality of your couple must be… to your couple’s taste! Obviously, this must take into account everyone’s wishes and respect their limits. If your sexual relations no longer stimulate you, or if you feel that sex could take a greater (or lesser) place in your intimacy, perhaps it is time to open the dialogue with your partner.

How relevant is sexuality to your life as a couple? What evolution do you want to give it? Talking about sex and redefining its place in your couple dynamics can give it a stimulating role… if that is your goal. A word of advice: it’s always better to talk about sex outside the bedroom.

2. When was your sex life most fulfilling?

Self-esteem has a definite impact on our sexual fulfillment , as does our partner and the dynamics we have with him or her. It is interesting to take a look at the different times when you can claim to have experienced great sexual satisfaction. How can you promote these? Of course, we must not fall into the trap of idealizing the past. Rather, it should be used to build a happier present.

Moreover, the same exercise is valid for masturbation : at what period and in what way did you manage to give yourself fulfilling solo pleasure? Sexuality is above all a relationship with oneself.

3. How is your sexual satisfaction determined right now?

Is it essential for you to reach orgasm to be sexually satisfied ? And if so, how? What caresses are synonymous with 7th heaven for you? What context encourages you to let go? Maybe right now you need an evening where you and your partner take time to explore each other. Maybe it’s also a change of atmosphere that you need: a short stay away from home and responsibilities to let your libido ignite… Finally, it could also be that in this moment sexuality is not important or even a priority, and above all do not feel guilty, it is completely normal. Listen up!

4. Is masturbation your greatest source of satisfaction?

Do you prefer your sessions alone rather than those with a partner? Do you think you are the only one capable of meeting your needs? Do you let go more easily when you are alone? Do you find it difficult to cum under the gaze of your partner? Know that it is really valid if you answered yes to all these questions.

It’s normal that you often get bigger orgasms from masturbation, basically because it’s so much easier to focus on your own feelings – you’re never better served than by yourself! The winning recipe is not always attainable with his or her partner. The best way to improve couple sex ( or with more people !) is to verbalize what gives pleasure when you’re ready and within your own limits. In short: there is always room for improvement – and it goes both ways!

5. Which positions give you the most pleasure?

Again, it’s about communication. Do … Read the rest

sexual relationship

A sexual relationship is not necessarily synonymous with penetration

Generally speaking, the view of sexuality is heteronormative , that is, it is based on the traditional sexual scripts of heterosexual relationships that involve penetration (of a penis into a vagina). For many, a sexual relationship can only be considered complete if the act of penetration takes place , ideally with ejaculation.

However, many of us don’t want penetration – all the time or sometimes – for very valid reasons: preference for other sex acts like foreplay, pain, low arousal, fear of injunction to performance, etc.

It’s hard to counter the idea that penetration is essential, since that’s how sexuality has been presented for a long time, and therefore, learned by most as they grow up.

Moreover, this conception of a sexual relationship does not take into account pleasure other than that of the penis, just like the fact that not everyone is heterosexual. Surprise! Of course, queer people and straight women can enjoy penetration, but it would be sad to leave out all the other joys of sex.

There are therefore several problems in this vision that we have of sexuality .

First of all, it’s important to know that there is no one action or thing in particular that defines what can or cannot be considered a sexual act. The only thing that is needed is the consent of everyone involved . Otherwise, whether it’s fondling, oral sex or otherwise, there are no standards to follow .

And let’s not forget, people with vaginas don’t just reach orgasm through penetration. The key to ecstasy for these people is clitoral stimulation , which can be done externally as well as internally. As these notions are not generally presented in the sex education system, we often forget this clitoris!

Solo sexuality should also be valued . We tend to completely put aside masturbation , while it is a privileged contact that we have with ourselves. And guess what! Most women masturbate… without involving the penetration of their fingers or a toy into their vagina!

Indeed, other people do not necessarily have to be involved to consider that one has a sexuality! Just because someone is single and not sleeping with anyone doesn’t automatically mean they don’t have a sex life .

Sexual practices are varied and you have the right to give less space to penetration (or any other act that does not suit you) freely. Your sex life should look just like you!Read the rest